Arkansas Medical Terminology

The reason that the Clifton Administration Health Plan has been delayed is due to the difficulty in translating the Arkansas Medical terminology into Standard English. A partial key is provided below.

Artery-----------------The study of paintings

Bacteria---------------Back door of the cafeteria

Barium-----------------What doctors do when their patient dies

Bowel------------------A letter like A, E, I, O, U

Caesarean Section------A neighborhood in Rome

Cat Scan---------------Searching for the kitty

Cauterize--------------Made eye contact with her

Colic------------------A sheep dog

Coma-------------------A punctuation mark

D & C------------------Where Washington is

Dilate-----------------To live long

Enema------------------Not a friend


Fibula-----------------A small lie

Genital----------------Not a Jew

G.I.Series-------------An army ball game

Hangnail---------------Coat hook

Impotent---------------Distinguished; well known

Labor pains------------Getting hurt at work

Medical staff----------A doctor's cane

Morbid-----------------A higher offer

Nitrates---------------Cheaper than day

Node-------------------Was aware of

Outpatient-------------A person who fainted

Pap smear--------------A fatherhood test

Pelvis-----------------A cousin to Elvis

Post-operative---------A letter carrier

Recovery room----------A place where they do upholstery

Rectum-----------------Dang nearly killed him

Secretion--------------Hiding something

Seizure----------------A Roman emperor

Tablet-----------------A small table

Terminal illness-------Getting sick at the airport

Tumor------------------Add two

Urine------------------Opposite to you are out

Varicose---------------Near by


Return to My Funny Page Collection index