A man was carrying two babies, one in each arm, while waiting for a train. Along came this woman, who, seeing the two cute babies started asking the man, "Aren't they cute, what are their names?"
The man gave the lady an angry look and replied, "I don't know."
The lady asked again, "Which is the boy and which is the girl?"
The man looking angrier than before replied, "I don't know." The woman then started to scold the man, "What kind of a father are you?"
The man replied, "I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are two complaints that I am taking back to my company."
A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'.
He took out a jar of yellow-coloured liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a good doctor, you have to be observant to colour, smell, sight and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust.
But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth. After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head.
"If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says," I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts...although still
The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
The Good Doctor
Howard felt guilty all the next day. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. Every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice trying to reassure him: - - "Howard. Don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to have sex with a patient and you won't be the last."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: -- "Howard. You're a veterinarian."